The hustle and bustle of the holidays may have waned, but if you’re anything like me, the most exciting time of year is yet to come...The New Year. The ending of a year has always held an enchanting feeling of opportunity, growth, and inspiration. For most, it’s a time to “get back on track” or “kick that bad habit”. But for me, it’s a time of reflection and renewal. It’s a time when I review my year and reflect on my accomplishments and failures, my challenges and celebrations, and consider my new ambitions, my continued areas of growth, and my intentions for the year ahead.
While setting New Year's Resolutions are a strongly held tradition, they often go unfinished, abandoned, or discarded. And it makes sense that resolutions don’t work when you consider the actual definition...A Resolution: “The solution to a problem...A decision to stop doing something bad, or a decision to start doing something good.” No wonder they almost always fall short! Resolutions are born from the misguided assumption that who you are isn’t good enough and implies criticism and judgment as if you are a problem that needs to be fixed. (Cue the mad rush to the gym on January 1st). So when we “fall behind” or “slip up”, we inherently view it as a failure and give up on the intended goal altogether. The rigid rules of a resolution implies that if you don’t do something perfectly, there’s no point in doing it at all.
But the truth is, we are not problems that need to be fixed. Yes, we are imperfect, but our flaws are our “growing edges”. But there is a much more sustainable way to achieve all that you desire. I invite you to celebrate the renewal of our calendar with a refreshing alternative aimed to achieve those same goals but with grace and wiggle room and allowance for self-love!
How to Ditch the Resolution and Create New Year Intentions:
in·ten·tion
/inˈten(t)SH(ə)n/
“A strong purpose or aim, accompanied by a determination to produce a desired result. A decision to act a certain way: Resolve. Formed by the heart and mind. A vow, determination, or will to focus and harmonize mind and body.”
It’s time to reflect on your past year:
What are some themes that come up for you? What is it that you learned? How did you grow? In what ways were you challenged? How do you want to improve? What is it that you ultimately desire?
2. Dig into your why:
Why do you want to improve? Why are your desires important to you? Ask yourself “why” at least 5 times. See what you come up with. If it’s not meaningful, it might be a good idea to take it off the list.
3. Write your intention statements:
These statements help you understand yourself on a deeper level and reinforce your (new) belief in your own potential. These statements Hold (CLAP!) You (CLAP!) Accountable (CLAP!) Here are some intention-writing tips:
Write only what you desire. It’s tempting to write “I will be debt free” when you are aiming to get yourself out of debt. But this statement gives attention to the debt which is exactly what you don’t want! Instead try “I am financially free” or “I am abundant and financially able.” (Doesn’t that feel better?)
Write your statement as if you already have it. Try using the words “Am,” “Can,” “Feel” instead of “Will” or “Should.”
4. Consider what you already have:
Too often, when making a list of things we want, we forget to include the things that are already ours! When considering your desires, it’s crucial to remember that while you may already have a home, or a car, or a loving family, you also want those things, right!? Gratitude is invaluable and will increase your frequency, and create a solid foundation for cultivating new and healthy habits.
5. Lather, Rinse, Repeat:
You have the intentions. You have the intention statements. Now write them down. In your planner, in your journal, on a sticky note on the toilet seat, on the mirror in lipstick. Read them when you wake up in the morning and just before going to bed at night. Set reminders in your phone and meditate on them. Ask your friends or your parents or your partner (or all of them!) to hold you accountable to your intentions. And then do it all again the next day. Commit these intentions to memory and put them on repeat in your mind. You should actually annoy yourself with your own awesome intentions.
6. Celebrate the Wins:
Each and every one of them. Big, small, and in-between. As you make steps toward your goals, as you learn and grow, and even when you fail, CELEBRATE. Each day, consider what went well and find the good. On the toughest of days, this is the most important thing you can do. There is always something to celebrate. You woke up! You’re alive! You had time to stop for coffee on your way to work! Karen was late to the carpool line and you were early! Everything counts. But nothing counts if you don’t take the time to recognize it.
So do your subconscious a favor and ditch the “resolution.” Start a new ritual and begin to create your New Year’s Intentions! Let your imperfections shine. Extend grace to yourself. And when you decide to sleep in instead of going to the gym, wake up from that snooze refreshed and refocused and decide that you will do it better tomorrow. Or next week. The idea here isn’t to reach the summit of the mountain at the fastest rate possible. It’s to reach it at a pace that works for you, that allows you to step out and see how far you’ve come, and how far you have left to go.
Authored by Jamie Darling Hall, LPC