Domestic Violence Awareness Month

October brings many things that go “bump” in the night, including the scariest thing 10 million Americans experience every year…Domestic Violence.

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence defines domestic violence as “The willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another.” Domestic Violence (DV) can include physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, stalking, intimidating behavior, spiritual abuse, or financial control. DV can occur between any two persons within a household including between a parent and a child, siblings, or even roommates.

Here are some little-known facts about Domestic Violence:

  • In the United States, over 10 million adults experience domestic violence annually

  • 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men experience sexual violence, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime

  • DV hotlines receive over 19,000 calls daily

  • Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) occurs most commonly against women ages 18-24

  • In Georgia, at least 1,671 Georgians lost their lives by DV between 2003 to 2016.

  • DV affects members of the LGBTQ community at rates that are comparable to or even greater than those experienced by their heterosexual counterparts

  • Children who witness DV may internalize guilt and feel responsible, which can have lasting effects on their emotional health, academic performance, and interpersonal relationships

  • In the United States, women of color are more likely to be victims of IPV. Even though women of color experience DV at a much higher rate, they are more likely to be criminalized when they attempt to seek help

Domestic violence can affect anyone. A "typical victim" does not exist. Domestic violence affects people of various ages, races, sexual orientations, socioeconomic status, religious affiliations, and physical abilities.

It’s important to know the difference between Myths & Facts of Domestic Violence:

Myth: Co-dependence is a major factor in why abuse victims stay in abusive relationships.

Fact: When victims of abuse seek to flee, they often face a number of obstacles.

Long-term exposure to this sort of treatment, even when interspersed with times of love and desired behaviors from the abusive partner, can leave the victim feeling imprisoned, silenced, and lacking in self-esteem. When the victim stands up for themself, the abuser may increase their control and violence. What appears to be codependent behavior is often a defense mechanism against further abuse.

Myth: Substance use causes domestic violence.

Fact: Use of drugs or alcohol is not the cause in cases of domestic violence. Alcohol can make an abuser more violent, but abusive behavior is always a choice.

Myth: Abusive behavior is caused by mental illness. Most abusers have a personality disorder.

Fact: The cause of DV is not mental illness. Most individuals with mental illness are not violent. This myth can be harmful to survivors who may believe that the abuser's violence would end if they undergo therapy or take medication.

In the beginning of a relationship, it is rarely easy to tell if one partner will become abusive. Over time, domestic violence gets worse. Abusers often seem charming and faultless at first, but as the relationship goes on, they become more hostile and controlling. They are crafty and manipulative and will employ a variety of techniques to obtain and keep control over their partner, frequently in cycles that alternate between moments of harmony and peace with times of abuse. Violence is not equal in partnerships where domestic violence is present. There is always one person who is the main, ongoing source of power, control, and abuse, even if the victim fights back or starts violence in an effort to deescalate a situation.

It’s important not to victim blame. One’s personal struggles (both on the victim’s end and the abuser’s end) never make abuse justifiable, nor does it mean the victim can do anything to fix or repair a relationship where DV is present. Abuse is abuse and it only gets worse over time. 

The therapists at Summit’s Edge encourage anyone experiencing domestic violence to know that there are resources and support…

Listen to your inner voice. Trust your gut. Ask for help. Create a safety plan. Listen to and lean on the ones who believe you and believe in you. It IS possible to rebuild your life. Be gentle with yourself. Every human being deserves to be in a relationship in which they feel and are safe, valued, respected and free of violence. 

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, help is available

national 24-hour Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233

GEORGIA 24-Hour Statewide Hotline: 800-334-2836

Authored By: Julianna Robinson, LCSW

References:

Fast facts: Preventing adverse childhood experiences . Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2022, April 6). Retrieved September 30, 2022, from https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/fastfact.html 

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (2020). Domestic violence in Georgia. www.ncadv.org/files/Georgia.pdf.

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (2018). Domestic violence and the LGBTQ Community. https://ncadv.org/blog/posts/domestic-violence-and-the-lgbtq-community

Preventing Intimate Partner Violence |Violence Prevention|Injury Center|CDC. (2020). CDC.Gov. https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/fastfact.html

Why Do Victims Stay? (2018). National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV). https://ncadv.org/why-do-victims-stay

Women of Color Network, Inc. . (n.d.). Retrieved September 30, 2022, from https://wocninc.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/DVFAQ-1.pdf